Broken and Beautiful

17 January 2010

“O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:15-17 NIV

Christmas Eve we spent celebrating with Forde’s parents at their home in Charlotte . After a lovely Christmas Eve service followed by a Christmas party, we settled in for our Christmas dinner, part of which was cooked in a Crock Pot. The delicious aroma of homemade chicken chili filled the kitchen making our tummies growl. The prayer was said and the serving commenced when all of a sudden….

“KSHHHHHHHHHH! !!!” What on earth was that?!

Low and behold, as Forde lifted the lid to the Crock pot, it absolutely shattered! Miraculously, none of the glass found its way into the chili, but hundreds of pieces of glass dispersed on the counter and ground below. As the light reflected off their jagged edges, I couldn’t help but notice how the broken pieces sparkled. This once smooth piece of glass, now broken, looked like clusters of little diamonds dancing in the light.

Seeing this strange, but lovely, sight brought to mind words that came to life before my eyes. “Glass shines brightest when it’s broken.”

Though I can’t recall which book this came from, I have referenced these words in my heart when going through trying times… broken times… for I can’t help but wonder if this is how the Lord sees His people in their brokenness: broken and beautiful.

It helps to see this perspective when you think of what it means to “break a horse.” To break a horse is not a bad thing at all. In fact, anyone who has owned or ridden a horse will appreciate a “broken” horse for it is because of the horse’s broken state that it can be ridden safely and successfully. Breaking in a horse simply means teaching the horse to follow your commands or cues. This process requires much patience and hard work, but is necessary in order for the horse to be (relatively) safe and useful.

And the same can be said for us. What delights the Lord more than a heart that has been taught (through Christ) to truly follow His commands and cues? Nothing! Yet, much like an unbroken horse, we were born with wayward spirits and stubborn hearts that all too often buck at the commands and cues given by our Master. Such is the heart of a sinful creature. We are a stiff-necked people (Ex. 32:9) in need of being broken… in need of being taught to obey the commands and cues of our loving, merciful, and gracious Father in order for us to be safe and useful.

However, just as breaking in a horse takes much hard work and patience so does our “breaking in.” Thankfully, God is infinitely patient and fully capable, often times using our trials and tribulations to break us.

2009 brought us a fair share of trials and tribulations, yet in them I’ve seen this very process to be true. I must confess, there was a long period when I kicked and screamed at God for the circumstances, the hardships, the trials. I cried out time and time again, “ENOUGH!” This cry is not inherently bad, but when it is not accompanied with, “Not my will, but Thine be done,” there is a heart problem. God clearly saw this and in His goodness and grace used these very circumstances to break me.

Could God have chosen to use other means? I’m sure He could have; yet, it was His good pleasure and for my own benefit that He allowed these circumstances to break me. As a result, I no longer buck at the circumstances. Though many of our trials have not changed, I have and for how I’ve changed and what I now know of the Lord, I would walk this road a thousand times over. Not to say that I won’t be happy to see this season end; I will, but until God sees fit, I am content to remain where I am. If only you could understand just how much hard work and patience the Lord has extended to get me to this point!

So, I have come to appreciate brokenness in a whole new light. The ways in which we are broken aren’t always pleasant, but I have experienced, and therefore know that God allows us to be broken in various ways to ultimately lead us back to Him, to teach us to obey His good, loving, holy, and righteous commands. Cues He knows are not only best for us, but also have an eternal purpose that far outweighs the light and momentary troubles that accompany them.

Watching the light glisten off the shattered pieces, I began to have a deeper appreciation for what the Lord sees and a greater appreciation of why He delights in a broken and contrite heart. After reading of what I saw, I hope you do, too. Indeed, glass shines brightest when it’s broken, and so do we. When the brokenness of spirit meets with a contrite heart, it is then that we look like the Crock Pot lid – broken and beautiful.

Broken and blessed,

Jessica