Barren trees: beauty in desolation

"Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV

Yesterday morning I awoke to a wintery surprise outside my windows: snow! White flakes were gently falling from the sky above, adding another layer to the thin blanket that already covered my yard. As I gazed outside, marveling at the serene beauty, I was, as I so often am this time of year, struck by the sight of the trees. Bleak. Barren. Desolate. Stripped. Fragile. Dead. Their barren beauty, highlighted all the more by the snow outlining their naked frame, spoke to my heart and reminded me of a moment I had when I lived in Crested Butte. 

Here is an edited version of what I wrote about that moment on January 17, 2003: 

During my ski break a few days ago, I was alone on a lift just enjoying the beauty of the day. It was superb! Deep blue skies, barely any wind, and fresh snow on the mountain... a truly stunning day! As I rode along, I began thanking he Lord for His beauty captured in this moment, beauty that spoke of His awesome power and unfailing love. 

About this time, I noticed the trees. The aspen lose their leaves and stand naked throughout the winter, while the evergreens remain wrapped in their blanket of leaves. Though the beauty of the snow-capped evergreens was a captivating sight, it was the twiggy aspen trees that captured my attention. 

As I looked at the aspen, I was struck at how they stood. Picture a person with their hands held high in praise, or a child grasping for the special treat a parent is handing down, reeeeeaching for whatever it is, sure it is a treasure. That is what these aspen resembled. They looked as though their hands were raised in praise to their Creator, reaching for every good thing He had to give them. I felt as though the words of Isaiah 55 were coming to life before my eyes! 

"For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12

A glorious sight made even more poignant by what sunk in next. The aspen that so captivated my attention were barren. Having been stripped of their leaves, the leaves that help make these trees so unique and lovely, they stood, twigs glaring against the snow, barren, bleak, and desolate. And yet, they stood in a posture of praise. 

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

As I sat watching these trees burst into a song of praise before me, I was reminded that though I may occasionally feel as these trees look - stripped, barren, bleak, and desolate - I should resemble them in another fashion as well: arms raised high in praise, reaching for the One who graciously bestows all that we need and every good thing. How I need to take on their posture in all seasons of life!

I admit, I don't always feel so inclined to do this! In fact, giving thanks amidst a winter season of life can make this task exceptionally difficult, excruciating to do. However, Scripture can encourage us in these times. The God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast (1 Peter 5:10). For those who are in Christ, we are further promised an abundant life (John 10:10). Abundance rarely comes without its trials, but those light and momentary afflictions are preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17) - as hard as that may seem to believe in the trial!

God has a reason for every season (Ecclesiastes 3:1), and seasons of what seem like barrenness and desolation might be necessary in order to have a season of "leaves." I know I all too often forget this reality! Furthermore, I have learned that seasons of barrenness, bleakness, and desolation offer the sweet blessing of knowing and loving God for God and not just His blessings. May we be willing to receive such a gift, trusting that our heavenly Father knows best. 

I'm thankful for the twiggy branches of the trees that remind me of eternal truths. I pray you and I both are given the grace, mercy and strength to give thanks in ALL circumstances for we can rest assured that this is God's will for us in Christ. It may just be that praising God despite our circumstance is what yields an eternal perspective and ruthless trust to enable us to face our trials and afflictions, our fears, our bleak seasons with hope, truth, and peace. 

Never forget your heavenly Father loves you passionately and furiously, even in life's winters! Whatever your season, learn from these barren trees and take on a posture of praise. May you go forth in joy and be led forth in peace... may you be able to see glimpses of His beauty even in desolation. 

Thankful, 

Jessica

Sweet Tea - Psalm 119:103, Proverbs 13:19

Originally written November 10, 2003; edited on February 4, 2015

My Mammaw was famous for her sweet tea... at least to my brother and me. Sweet tea was rarely to be found in the house of our childhood because my mom (wisely) chose to keep the temptation of this sweet nectar out of the regular drinking rotation. Therefore, sweet tea was aptly referred to as "Mammaw's Tea," because we only had it at her house in Mississippi. Not until my teenage years did I learn that Mammaw's Tea was really just plain ole sweet tea. (Great secret, Mom!)

Mammaw is no longer with us, but my mom inherited her mother's art of making amazing sweet tea. However, it remained a mystery to me. For years, I tried to imitate their tea and failed miserably with every attempt! Mine never tasted quite right... until I discovered their secret: put the sweetener in first. Doing so allows the sugar (or sweetener) to dissolve fully and, therefore, infuse the hot tea and water as it is poured into the pitcher.  I'm sure there are other great methods to prepare sweet tea, but in my experience, this order leads to perfection every. single. time.

Making tea recently reminded me that my life needs to mirror this method.

What in the world am I talking about?

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" Psalm 119:103 ESV

I need Jesus to be first. I need Him to be first in my heart, in my desires, in my relationships, in my priorities, in my everything. To help align my heart in this order, I need His word and time alone with Him to be the first part of my day. Put the sweetener in first. 

As life's demands and responsibilities have escalated, this time with the Lord has become increasingly more precious, appreciated, and needed, but also increasingly more difficult to maintain. Kids wake early. Dog and kids get sick. Smoke alarms remind you to check their batteries at 4am, or toddlers throw a party in their cribs from 2:30-5am, thus enticing me to turn off the alarm. I oversleep. My unending to-do list takes precedent over my devotional time. Whatever my excuse or legitimate distraction, I've come to see that whatever I pour in to my day first tends to flavor everything that is poured into me throughout my day. It sets the tone for how I will interact, respond, and receive the day God gives me as it unfolds, which is all the more reason for me to apply the sweet tea secret to how I order my days, as best I can. Then my day, my heart, and my mind are sweetened and flavored with His truth and by the time I've had with Him, and not overpowered by the bitter, painful, and frustrating moments poured into my world on any given day.

Furthermore, one of the sweet blessings that comes in these precious morning moments is that I find the Lord meeting the deepest longing of my heart: intimacy with Christ. We were all wired to desire and need God, and each day we need our daily portion of Him. In His perfect and sovereign ways, He uses our earthly desires to point us to this deeper desire, to Him. Too often I misread these longings or don't look beneath the surface of them to see Him. Yet, Scripture is clear: He is our hearts' deepest desire (Psalm 42 paints a great picture of this!), and His word is the sweetener to our heart, mind, body, and soul. When this longing is met, it is so, so sweet to the soul.

"A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul..." Proverbs 13:19 ESV 

Mammaw would be proud to know her method of making sweet tea has reminded me of more eternal truths. May you and I both seek the Lord on how our hearts and souls' deepest desired can be fulfilled in Christ. May we discover anew just how very sweet it is to be in the presence of our King knowing that in doing so we will discover the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need as Paul writes of in Philippians 4:12-13. May His truth sweeten even the bitterest parts of our hearts and lives.

Put the Sweetener in first, my friends... and I pray it is so sweet to your soul.

In Christ's love and grace,
Jessica

Questions to consider:
- Are you making time with the Lord a priority? When is the best part of your day for you to spend time in God's word?

- How might you have more consistent time in God's word? Do you need to rearrange your schedule or let the Lord erase something from it?

- Do you find the bitter struggles (daily or monumental!) stealing the joy you are meant to have in Christ? How does or how might daily time in God's word help?

The direction of your heart - 2 Thessalonians 3:5

Originally written January 1, 2003; edited January 2015

"May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ." 2 Thessalonians 3:5 ESV

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season and have found this new year to be a pleasant one thus far. The start of a new year seems to always bring a breath of fresh air to me. No matter how good or bad the previous year was, something about a "new year" screams new beginning, starting over, a blank canvas, a new chapter. And so, we start of a new chapter: 2015. I love new chapters of life.

As I look back on 2014, I have mixed emotions. The past year had some hardships. There were relational strains experienced, deep, deep grief and loss alongside friends... and of my own, lots of frustrations, bewildering events and seasons (potty training... all year - need I say more?!), busy schedules, and some insanely profound heartache. It was undoubtedly a tough year.

And yet, this same year that is rightly classified in any of the above categories was also a year of rich, rich blessings. I experienced and witnessed incredible growth, miracles of so many kinds, new friendships, deeper friendships, precious new memories, fun adventures, and intense rejoicing. I am truly amazed considering the juxtaposition of this past year and overwhelmed with joy at all that happened. The Lord so faithfully and patiently grew and blessed me through it all. Even the hard parts.

I have no idea why the Lord chose to give us the year behind exactly as He did, or why He's chosen to give us what will come in this new, unknown year. Nevertheless, the Lord has impressed upon my heart a prayer I want to be praying for my boys (husband included!), others, and myself. It is Paul's words in this passage.

May the Lord direct your/their/my heart(s) to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. 

Fill in the pronoun desired, and this passage is so rich! These words encourage me to no end knowing that regardless of situation or circumstance, good or bad, hard or easy, confusing or straightforward, the Lord is directing my heart to the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ. In the realm of uncharted territory such as a new year, it's comforting to know that the One who has already charted this course is directing my heart and my path... and it's directed to the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ.

Being the word geek that I am, I looked up "direct" to expand on the meaning and gain a better understanding. Word searches often enlighten my study of the Word and help solidify God's truth in my mind, as was the case with this passage. While I don't know the exact Greek meaning for the word translated to "direct," just flushing out the English definition alone was powerful! It means to guide, tell, show the way to, aim, or point to something, just to name a few. This really spoke to me about how faithful the Lord is to use everything (yes, everything) to direct us, point us, show us His great love and the steadfastness of Christ.

Yet, do I have eyes to see this, even when the smokescreen of life tries to conceal it? 

Do you?

I admit, I don't always have the eyes to see or the heart to trust this is true. Sometimes I let my circumstances scream too loud. I allow my lack of understanding to trump God's infinite understanding. How I pray to trust Him more this year, to wait on Him, and to believe and really know that in and through all things God is and will be directing my heart to the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ. What a wonderful direction of our hearts!

As I begin to dip into the year ahead, just barely putting my toes in at the edge, I'm ever so thankful for Paul's words to cling to, look to, and pray through this year. For I know that wherever the Lord leads me, whatever path He takes me down, whether the terrain is complex, foreboding and seemingly impassable or wide open spaces, He is always directing my heart, pointing me to the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ.

This year probably won't go exactly how I hoped or planned, but it will go exactly how my gracious, loving, and steadfast heavenly Father planned. Let us never forget the direction of our hearts this year and always. Remember... and, as often as you need, join me in praying Paul's words while traveling along the road of 2015.

In Christ's steadfastness and God's love,
Jessica

A lesson from the manger - Luke 2:7

Originally written December 25, 2002, edited December 2014

"And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7 ESV

As I watch and listen to the different sights and sounds this Christmas season, I am intrigued by the details of the Christmas story and how Christ was brought into this world. Each year in the weeks leading up to Christmas day I try to spend time soaking in these details from the various gospel accounts, and each year it seems a new detail is highlighted for me. This post was originally an email written in 2002 and is the first entry in my book, which I am reworking, hence starting here. I'm excited to revisit these details and hope that looking back with me helps us both look forward to the joyful celebration of our Savior's coming, today and always. 

At Christmas, Christians celebrate the coming of Jesus Christ, our Messiah, Emmanuel - God with us. Reading Luke's account tells us of the birth of Jesus and reminds us that Jesus made His grand appearance into this world in a not-so-grand style. Contrary to what Jews were expecting of their Messiah, He came quite simply, humbly, and quietly into an ordinary family as a baby.

Sit with that thought for a moment. Jesus Christ came into this world as a baby, and a newborn at that!

For anyone who has had a baby, or anyone who has held a newborn, really, really ponder this thought, this reality. All too often, though, I leap forward to the 30-33 year old Jesus and don't really consider the marvel, the wonder that happened in that stable so many years ago. God became man; He took on flesh, but not as a powerful adult prince of this world, no... as a tiny, helpless, newborn baby. The newborn stage of life is pretty rough. Sweet moments, sure, but it's messy, tiresome, and lots of chaos.

To top it off, He wasn't even born in the meager comforts of a home. Nope. He was born in a stable surrounded by dirty animals, the unavoidable stable smells that linger, and loud animal noises. There wasn't a crib or bassinet awaiting Him. A trough provided our Lord's first bed. That's right, a trough, the dining plate for animals. Most of us don't spend much time in stables, but to bring this reality a little closer to home, can you imagine placing your child in the bowl out of which you feed your animals? (Um, no!) 

These details, though not new, resonated with me in a new manner this year. (I love how Scripture does that: be new, without being new.) Scripture reminds us that Christ is with His followers always (Matthew 28:20), but the details of His birth served to remind me that just as Jesus arrived humbly, quietly, and into a most unexpected time and place, so I can expect Jesus to continue to make His appearance in my life a similar manner.

It's easy to think of finding Jesus in the clean halls of a church, within the security of a Bible study, in the company and conversation of deeply cherished friends, in beauty, peace and tranquility. It's so easy that sometimes I forget to look for Christ there. Yet, as His birth shows us, we will also find him in some quite unexpected, messy places: on the "other side of the tracks," in the face of a homeless person, through relational strain and hardship, in grief (of all kinds), in depression, infertility, loneliness, financial distress, potty training, tantrums (of any age), health issues, cancer, work troubles, interrupted plans and naps, difficult bosses, teachers, or coworkers, pain, pain, and more pain, unmet expectations, hopes and dreams...

Yes, Jesus can still be found in messy, smelly, filthy places and circumstances.He will be found in the stables of life. What's even more remarkable is that He chose such a place to start His journey here on earth, then chose to make His home in hearts that mirror the stables. Quite amazingly, He is not deterred by the noisy, filthy, stinky, chaotic mess that is my life, my heart. He chose to come into this mess. He came for this mess. What a glorious and magnificent truth this is! Definitely worth a celebration!

Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Psalm 147:3 reminds us that, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." There may not have been room in the inn, but how I pray this Christmas that there is room in your heart and mine to seek the Savior who came as a tiny baby, who binds up and heals, who enters into the messy stables of our hearts and lives. Oh may there be room and may our hearts rejoice at this lesson from the manger.

Have a very merry Christmas and may you be blessed by the true Spirit and hope of this season. Happy Birthday, Jesus!

In Christ's love and grace,

Jessica

Broken and Beautiful

17 January 2010

“O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:15-17 NIV

Christmas Eve we spent celebrating with Forde’s parents at their home in Charlotte . After a lovely Christmas Eve service followed by a Christmas party, we settled in for our Christmas dinner, part of which was cooked in a Crock Pot. The delicious aroma of homemade chicken chili filled the kitchen making our tummies growl. The prayer was said and the serving commenced when all of a sudden….

“KSHHHHHHHHHH! !!!” What on earth was that?!

Low and behold, as Forde lifted the lid to the Crock pot, it absolutely shattered! Miraculously, none of the glass found its way into the chili, but hundreds of pieces of glass dispersed on the counter and ground below. As the light reflected off their jagged edges, I couldn’t help but notice how the broken pieces sparkled. This once smooth piece of glass, now broken, looked like clusters of little diamonds dancing in the light.

Seeing this strange, but lovely, sight brought to mind words that came to life before my eyes. “Glass shines brightest when it’s broken.”

Though I can’t recall which book this came from, I have referenced these words in my heart when going through trying times… broken times… for I can’t help but wonder if this is how the Lord sees His people in their brokenness: broken and beautiful.

It helps to see this perspective when you think of what it means to “break a horse.” To break a horse is not a bad thing at all. In fact, anyone who has owned or ridden a horse will appreciate a “broken” horse for it is because of the horse’s broken state that it can be ridden safely and successfully. Breaking in a horse simply means teaching the horse to follow your commands or cues. This process requires much patience and hard work, but is necessary in order for the horse to be (relatively) safe and useful.

And the same can be said for us. What delights the Lord more than a heart that has been taught (through Christ) to truly follow His commands and cues? Nothing! Yet, much like an unbroken horse, we were born with wayward spirits and stubborn hearts that all too often buck at the commands and cues given by our Master. Such is the heart of a sinful creature. We are a stiff-necked people (Ex. 32:9) in need of being broken… in need of being taught to obey the commands and cues of our loving, merciful, and gracious Father in order for us to be safe and useful.

However, just as breaking in a horse takes much hard work and patience so does our “breaking in.” Thankfully, God is infinitely patient and fully capable, often times using our trials and tribulations to break us.

2009 brought us a fair share of trials and tribulations, yet in them I’ve seen this very process to be true. I must confess, there was a long period when I kicked and screamed at God for the circumstances, the hardships, the trials. I cried out time and time again, “ENOUGH!” This cry is not inherently bad, but when it is not accompanied with, “Not my will, but Thine be done,” there is a heart problem. God clearly saw this and in His goodness and grace used these very circumstances to break me.

Could God have chosen to use other means? I’m sure He could have; yet, it was His good pleasure and for my own benefit that He allowed these circumstances to break me. As a result, I no longer buck at the circumstances. Though many of our trials have not changed, I have and for how I’ve changed and what I now know of the Lord, I would walk this road a thousand times over. Not to say that I won’t be happy to see this season end; I will, but until God sees fit, I am content to remain where I am. If only you could understand just how much hard work and patience the Lord has extended to get me to this point!

So, I have come to appreciate brokenness in a whole new light. The ways in which we are broken aren’t always pleasant, but I have experienced, and therefore know that God allows us to be broken in various ways to ultimately lead us back to Him, to teach us to obey His good, loving, holy, and righteous commands. Cues He knows are not only best for us, but also have an eternal purpose that far outweighs the light and momentary troubles that accompany them.

Watching the light glisten off the shattered pieces, I began to have a deeper appreciation for what the Lord sees and a greater appreciation of why He delights in a broken and contrite heart. After reading of what I saw, I hope you do, too. Indeed, glass shines brightest when it’s broken, and so do we. When the brokenness of spirit meets with a contrite heart, it is then that we look like the Crock Pot lid – broken and beautiful.

Broken and blessed,

Jessica